Are You Desperate for God?

Have you ever been desperate for God?  Well I have!   Years ago before I was born again I used to cry out for Him and look out my window of life wondering what is life all about.  I see now that this was God calling me to Him.  And I was deeply searching for Him with all my heart..
I should have been happy.  I had a wonderful husband and three precious little girls.
Our life wasn't perfect but most things were in place  (going by the books) I had a great life. So why did I have this deep inner yearning. And why was this same deep urgency that somthing vital was missing plague my life.  I blamed everything around me till I was so frustrated with no one else to blame for this void I felt.
 My husband worked hard and was busy trying to make a good life for us but one day everything crashed. Our business was failing and my husband no longer was able to restore it.

We made a decision and moved to get away from old reminders and heartbreak to start a new life in Arizona where Dougs mother and dad were living.  After a few years of setteling in and finding jobs we were finally catching up financialy and emotionaly  and began to breath a little easier.

Things were going well but that old feeling started to drift back in again.  Somthing was still missing.  I found myself brooding within not knowing what was wrong. During this time I searched church but the answers were not there. I wondered why? This should be the answer to all my deep needs.  God! where are you hiding where are you!  This was my deepest secret because everyone else seemed happy but me.

I kept calling out for God in those dark years still continuuing in the church of my husbands faith. I didn't know much about what other denominations taught and believed so still searching I was more and more discontent.  finally one day I burst out with " I'm not happy in this church" there just must be more!  there Must!!
 Doug thought thought I was just having a bad day and commented, its close and is just as good as any church.

You know God waits till we are really good and tired .  He was pressing in to see if I really meant business and would not easily give up my search for Him!
 Defeated! Downhearted! I was at the bottom of the bottom.  Where are you God! I cried.
Contunuing in life and doing pretty successful in those years I knew that somthing was still missing and seriously wrong so I kept on crying out for God knowing  Him to be the only one who would know my heart and hear me.

 Finally one afternoon while searching t.v. stations I found a Christian talk show.  This program seemed very unusual in that it wa all about God.  A true "Divine Appointment."   This was no accident.  It proved to be the way God would choose to bring His son Jesus into my life and be "Born Again" in answer to my deepest hearts cry.  It was "Him" all along "Callng me" to Him hoping I would not give up my search for His Love.  Later throughout the years I learned that He had a  wonderful and special calling for me to fulfill in my lifetime here.  Did you know this choice is given to all of us? The word of God tells us  "Many are Called" but few are chosen. Many give up quickly letting worldly amusments and intertainments steal their quiet moments from their first true love .."The Lord"  how very sad this is for Him who is watching and waiting continually for His precious "Beloved" to lovingly desire to run and embrace Him.

That afternoon all alone while watching that program in t.v. "Somthing Beautifull" took place that would change my life forever I knelt down and followed word for word with the man of God repeating the words that brought me new life!  I asked " Jesus Christ into my Heart"  Asking Him to take my life and use it in any way he chose. My life was miracuously "Saved" "Changed" from that moment and I was never the same. 
Still today I marvel at how that no one told me the truth of salvation or about the bibicle truths about being " Being Born Again"in the third chapter of John. I was without Jesus and no wonder I was so miserable.  I was alienated from my Savior and Lord.  The very "Love of my life"! 

Let me caution you today, not every church is serving the good news of Jesus Christ.  In fact this church we were attending was "more social than spiritual" The bible readings and storys were more like being read to out of a fiction novel so it could never have watered the soil of my dry and thirsting heart. There was absolutely no "Anointing" from the Holy Spirit. More and more this seems to be the case in these end times we are living.  Even to date I am hearing and seing things in churches that are an abomination to God!  Very accuratley prophecied in the word of God that would be happening in the end times.

   There is alot that happened between the lines of my story.  And God did have special plans for my life.  But the main thing is that God really wants to know that we really want Him.  If I told my husband I would like to get married to him but never had a romantic and love relationship with him our marriage would never take place.  He would deeply desire to know and feel my love for him before he could take the next step to marry me.  This is where many are today. They have  stop searching for the love of God.  They are rarely taught to seek! seek! seek!  Ye first the Kingdome of God! As the bible tells us to do.

The Lord is waiting for His bride to "Awaken to Him" and deeply desire even brood and lovingly call out to Him  till He comes embracing you an I in His loving arms.   He is waiting for us to search for Him with our whole hearts  "Really love and Desire for Him".  He waits and waits till you and I are tired of our toys and worldly play things and finally search for Him with all our whole heart and soul.

 In our case when our business began to fail we couldn't see the writing on the wall that was showing us the area we lived in was being left behind in the times. God used our desperate move to somplace totally different leaving everything behind, family friends and many heartbreaking trials to help us to start over in every area of our life. The little towne we lived in was doomed and dying. 
We didn't see it but God used it to help us to search for Him in a depth we would never have experienced where we were.   And as we did heaven opened it's doors and wecomed us to God in a way we never could have known Him before. Today I see His hand in all we went through.
 Doug and I are so greatfull for Gods great love for us by turning somthing so sad and painfully difficult into somthing so  "Beautifull" in our lives by giving us a deeper reality of Christ Jesus with thriving ministry's that are helping christians to find "Him" as well lead them into their ministries and full purposes for the Kingdom of God.

Are you Desperate enough to deeply call out to Jesus  forsaking  "All "? Many are called but few are chosen because they just ignore Gods tender call to them. I didn't understand the things of God enough to know what the call was.  I will write more about this in upcomming letters.
 God wants you to desire Him. He wants to do a work in your heart and life.
 He is "not" going to come into your life while your watching t.v. or rocking away in your recliner and when you get up and decide to go to bed say a little prayer and think this is enough.  No God is searching for true lovers that will spend quality time with Him and not leaving Him or forsaking Him.

Many  others have gone through what I have.   John lake the great man of Gods healing power, Oral Roberts, Benny Hinn, Kathrine Khulman and Finney, Reese Howel too many to mention each felt the call and followed.

 Many every day people that are being used of God in great "but indiscreet"  ways not known to many others but to God alone and are of vital importance to God because they are simply reaching out to others in every day life around them.  The key is yeilding your life to Him completely and becoming " Born Again" a real spiritual experience the the bible speaks of in John 3 (read all chapter) Your life will then start to really perk spiritually as Gods love blesses and uses you in your daily pathways in life.
Those that totally have opposed Him like Saul of the bible, was  knocked of his horse.  This is rare but God can do that too.  What He really wants is for us to desire Him and call out for Him with our whole heart. There must be a  deeper " Hunger" and "Thirst" for God than "worldly Pleasures"   His deciples had it.  They longed for the "life" Jesus gave to them. 
I ask, What is happening to us? Why are we passing this up?  The answer is multitudes ar being "smooooged" into believing what we are getting in luke warm churches is enough.  "WRONG"  We need to be in Spirit led on fire gatherings so as to be charged up to Go! Do! and Be! for the Lord!
The word of God tells us;

The effectual " Fervent Prayers"  of a righteous man "Availeth Much"!
 ( James 5:16)
Jerimiah:29-11-13 Take the time to read all.
When you see me you shall find me when you seek me with your whole heart. God desires us to seek and seach for more! and more!  of Him. 

Are you truthfully doing this as they did in the ancent days of old.  Or have we "Grown to Smart and Too Educated" for the simple ways of God? Not even able to hear His still small voice speaking quietly into our hearts on a day to  day basis as He  was speaking to me.  I want His anointing more than anything " I need His anointing"  so as to reach more "lost souls" for the kingdom of God. And to  "know" and "feel"his beautifull presence every day of my life.

I pray for you " All"  Believing and trusting after reading this that you too will fervently pray for more of God in your heart and life as you read.  God has done many miraculous things on my life since those early days,  ministering and helping others through t.v. radio and many spirit filled gatherings over the years.  Bringing them to the truth of Jesus Christ which has been my greatest focus and calling.
And I am always praying for You! Know that  "There is More"!

Be  Blessed today as you search for Him with your whole heart and soul.
He is waiting to find you too!